@tflea : Thank you for your service, sir!! My Dad was in the Navy ... at Pearl Harbor and Midway battles. He had lots of stories, but few of them were very funny.

@tflea : Thank you, for your service!!

We were moving cargo boxes with a big forklift. One guy thought it would be funny to throw one of the new guys in a box and pick it up with the forklift to scare them.The person who had the idea left to grab a drink.We lowered the box and let the guy out without him knowing.When that person came back we had the box lifted again and moved forward and then stopped real quick ( on purpose ) which threw the box off the forks and drop 8 - 10 feet onto the ground.That person ran over afraid his joke just got someone killed.Of course the box was empty but we made sure he didn't know.
🙃

@West-Tex : Service, ma'am... service, not services.

My dad was a crew chief on a Huey during Vietnam. They were goofing around and crashed their helicopter. They stole one and repainted the door and tail to match theirs. It is true because I've seen pictures and met his pilot too bunch of clowns

@sandman :

@tflea : My unit went to the field almost as soon as I got out of AIT. I was trained as a radio repairer at that time, and we had a Warrant Officer named VENSON in our unit that everyone liked. While I was technically trained to repair communication devices, I had zero practical experience repairing communication devices on military vehicles. Many combat vehicles have what is called VINSON (or did) which uses encryption to help secure communications. While I was helping set up at the area where we had our Ratt Rig (Truck with a trailer on the back that we used as a shop to repair electronics), a first sergeant from our unit drove up and started yelling for me. I ran to where he was and he said "Spc Holton, I have a problem, what do you know about VINSON on a tank". I told him not much, but I saw him in a Humvee about an hour ago (thinking he was talking about WO Venson). He looked at me without saying anything for about 10 seconds, then called me ******* and drove off.

I went to boot camp from southern Mo. - having never travelled outside of the corridor of Mo - > dakotas my entire life. One of my company commanders was a Filipino Sr. Chief. I could never understand a word that man said to me. He would get so mad spittle would fly - but it didn't do any good - in fact - it just got worse...he said "puck" a lot...its funny - I have a ton of stories and share quite a bit. Some of the people I share with are abolutely sure I make a lot of it up, until something comes up that validates what I have said - its kind of funny and fun with them trying to decide if I am full of crap or not...I don't need to fabricate

Thank you all for your service ... My Dad told me the most popular tattoo when he was a sailor was that of a Rooster pecking at a worm that appeared to be coming out of the sailor's ***. Strange ..... I can't find this tattoo anywhere on the interwebs.

@mastiffrex : @redneckroy : Thank you!

Thanks for the tips!

Not a funny story, but all too true.
My son, after graduating Navy OCS in Newport, was on his 1st tour on the USS Nicholas (FFG-47) doing 'pirate patrol' off the coast of Somalia. On Thursday, April 1, 2010 (of course it had to be April Fools' Day) his ship came under fire by Somalian pirates. His crew captured 5 pirates, sunk the skiff and captured the mother ship. Story details below.
www.eaglespeak.us/20 10/04/somali-pirates -us-navy-frigate-tak es.html
www.history.navy.mil /research/histories/ ship-histories/danfs /n/nicholas-iii

@Blackhorse77 : We ran helos off our LST deck. Some of those young Army Helo pilots were like kids that were given a "big" toy.

Another story...
I was getting on my son's ship the USS Nicholas in Mayport (Jax) FL for a 'Tiger Cruise' which is where a family member or friend can be on the ship with the sailor. I got to go on a 3-day cruise from Jax to Norfolk. We were delayed boarding for several hours as the tour before they had such a successful drug interdiction that it had to offload 4 tons of drugs (see article at link below). I got to fire a 50-cal off the deck of the ship. Being that I was only 5' 6", 150 lbs., it was quite an experience trying to handle that thing.
www.jacksonville.com /story/news/military /2012/07/25/uss-nich olas-offloads-4

@Olaf : I'll bet having twigs for arms and hands didn't help much either...